I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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