therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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