yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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