What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
