Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
