We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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