so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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