Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
