She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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