Porn is love you can see.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
