Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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