She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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