Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
