that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
