you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
