i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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