I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
