your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
