Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
