Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
