Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
