We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
