The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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