Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
