I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
People in love make me want to vomit
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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