I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
