One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize