My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
