Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
