So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Threesome in a minivan. New low
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My legs feel like baby dolphins
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
