You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
