i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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