i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
