I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
