I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
