I am spending my child support on dildos
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
