sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
