Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
