At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm both gender and math confused
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
