i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I could fuck to npr.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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