my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
