I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Randomize