I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
