i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
