we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
