I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
