kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
