I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
