I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
