Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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