Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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