franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
