i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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