I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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