all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
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