god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Randomize
