You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
