let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
