Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
