vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
