This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
