Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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