i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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