pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
