I accidentally had phone sex last night
and she was petting her beer can
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
is that a dick in a sweater?
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