Cold hands, warm shart.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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