watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
