what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
as a side note pls kill me
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
