he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
